the laws of the Universe

[SkanlaxJMO]

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become
coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or
you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll
to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability: The probability of being watched
is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late
for work because you had a flat tire, the very next
morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you were in will start to move faster than
the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in
water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting
someone you know increases when you are with someone
you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone
that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is
inversely proportional to the reach.

Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are
furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot
coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which
will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people
in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an
open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a
floor covering are directly correlated to the newness
and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you
don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you
really like, they will stop making it.


thanks to incomando from ohiooffroad.com

 

[SkanlaxJMO]

thought it was kinda funny....but true

 

[glfredrick]

I'd like to add "Guy's Law" to that list...

As soon as you think you are making progress in life, you will be slammed into the mat ala All Star Wrestling, and further placed into a submission hold from which the only hope of escape is by giving up all prior life gains...

 

[SkanlaxJMO]

yeah another one funny but true...lmao

 

[BeauJ]

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

I go through it everyday at work..

 

['97 V8]

ohh so true.....especcailly the tool law.

 

[SkanlaxJMO]

[QUOTE='97 V8]ohh so true.....especcailly the tool law.[/QUOTE]
I know dont you hate that....the socket rolls to the other side of the garage and you can never find it until you are done withj the projeict.

 

[99stocksport]

I know dont you hate that....the socket rolls to the other side of the garage and you can never find it until you are done withj the projeict.

either that...or for me it always falls somewhere where i cant get my hand so i have to find a magnet and duct tape it to a long screwdriver of somethin so i can get it out

 

[Howard]

Not forgetting:

The wire rule: No matter how carefully you layout a bunch of wires they will twist and tangle as soon as you want to remove one.

The bolt rule: If an item is held on by 4 bolts at least 1 will not come out without a) rounding off the head or b) breaking off level with the surface that it is screwed into.

The knuckle rule: When working on the engine you will take the skin off at least one even if you are nowhere near anything.

The speed rule: If you have limited time to complete a task it will take twice as long as normal. If you have all day then the task is done in an instant.

 

[glfredrick]

The best I've seen is O'Toole's collorary to Murphy's Law (Anything that can go wrong, will, and at the worst possible moment...).

O'Toole said:

Murphy was an optomist..

Wonder what sort of day HE was having.